Team Lightyear was trapped. Surrounded by hundreds, no thousands of Zurg's hornets on a desolate planet, it looked like Buzz, Mira and Booster had no way out. But Buzz wasn't afraid. He had a satchel around his shoulder.
"No worries, Team!" He called confidently. "We've got our secret weapon, remember?"
"Yay! Our secret weapon!" Booster cheered.
"Prepare for your doom…" Buzz opened the satchel and reached inside.
"Yay! Doom!" Booster cheered.
Buzz pulled something out. "What? Lipstick?"
"Yay! Lipstick…Lipstick?" Booster stopped cheering. "Um, Buzz, how's lipstick going to help us?"
Buzz looked inside. "Eye shadow, blush, perfume…WHERE THE HECK'S OUR SECRET WEAPON?"
"I took it out!" Said Mira.
"You did what?" Screeched Buzz.
"Well, I had to make room for my things! It wouldn't fit!"
"Do you realize what you've just done, Ranger?" Buzz hollered. "We're helpless without our secret weapon! These hornets are going to tear us to bits! They'll never find our remains!"
"Well, as long as we don't die." Mira took the bag and started rummaging through it. "Oh look! Here's the toilet water my auntie sent me last Christmas! Funny, it doesn't smell like a toilet!"
Buzz groaned. "We're doomed!"
"No Buzz! Never say die!" Booster cried.
"It's true, Booster. Thanks to Mira, we'll never make it back home in one piece!"
"Look it! I found some straws!" Mira pulled them out and stuck them on her teeth. "I'm a walrus!"
Buzz sighed and opened his log. "Buzz Lightyear, final log…we're doomed. We're trapped. We're all going to die. But, at least there's one positive thing…if I'm fated to die today, I'm glad I'm going to die with Booster and Mira."
"Aw, I'm glad I'm going to die with you too!" Booster wiped away a tear.
"Art, art, art!" Said Mira.
"Well, I'm glad I'm going to die with Booster anyway. Our only hope is…Team Jessie!" Buzz cried joyously. Four rangers were flying above their heads: Rangers Jessie, Woody, Bo, and XR. "How'd you find us?"
"Well, after you disobeyed Commander Nebula and went out searching for Zurg, XR stayed behind and wisely tattled to us. So we followed you out here." Woody explained.
"By the way, the Commander says you're demoted, and XR's captain for now on, and he's getting his own show, XR: Robot Ranger!" Bo added.
"No pictures please." XR said with fake modesty.
"Oh that's just great. Can you save us now, please?" Buzz said irritably.
"We will, but first, we have to get rid of the most deadly thing in the galaxy!" Jessie aimed her laser.
"I found a quarter!" Said Mira, looking in the satchel. "Buzzy, how much is a quarter worth?"
Jessie shot her. Mira's head exploded, Tangian guts everywhere…
"Stop right there!" The real Buzz said. He, Woody, and Bo were listening to Jessie's new story. His friends were dying with laughter. "You killed her AGAIN?"
"Yeah." Jessie shrugged. "She practically turned in your insurance policies!"
"In your last story, she was evil. Now she's turned stupid!"
"That wasn't a turn. More like a slight veer." Bo snickered. Woody began to crack up.
"Why do you write stories like this! This isn't funny!" Buzz fumed.
"Are you kidding?" Woody laughed. "This is a riot!"
"I don't think so! This is terrible!"
"You are so sensitive!" Woody elbowed him.
"Yeah, loosen up, Buzz." Jessie added.
"You all are mean, mean, mean!" Buzz growled.
"Thank you very much." Jessie said, doing her Elvis impression. Bo and Woody laughed, and Buzz just rolled his eyes.
The End.